If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. ~Matthew 17:20

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Grappling with "No"

I will be the first to admit that my boys are “Rocks of Gibraltar” when it comes to receiving news that is not in their favor.  They absorb the information, mull it over in their minds, and somehow come out of the situation with a positive attitude and more determination than ever before.  I know it is a trait that they inherited from Brad.  As for me?  Ummm, let's just say that rejection is not my strong suit.

The resiliency of children is astonishing to me.  I think of how many times Spencer has heard the word “NO”.  No, you probably won’t live long with that certain type of tumor.  No, you may not walk again.  No, you won’t be able to eat by mouth.  Through 14+ years of hearing the word “NO”, he still remains strong in his faith and his determination.

And then there is Cole...for someone who is used to achieving his goals so easily, nothing has challenged him more than acting.  You cannot be thin skinned and be in the acting business because the word “NO” is doled out like hot cakes to Honey Boo Boo.  He heard it again today when he was told no to the pilot he was testing for last week.  But like a champ, he took the news with a “next time will be different” attitude and moved on.  He too remains strong in his faith and determination and for that, I am truly thankful to God.

Where the men in my family are rocks, I am mush.  Today, I cried for an opportunity lost for Cole.  I cried because Spencer is having problems with his feeding pump and I am angry he can’t eat by mouth.  I cried because I am frustrated that I don’t know the exact plan that God has in mind for our family.  See?  Mush.

But in the stillness and the silence of the evening, God is reminding me that His “NO” means “not yet, I have something better in mind”.  And as I remember His promises, I know that my plan could never ever be as great as His plan.  So, I am drying my tears and being thankful for a family that is resilient, while desperately looking for the chocolate that I hid from myself.
"Now glory be to God!  By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope."
~Ephesians 4:20

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