If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. ~Matthew 17:20

Wednesday, July 31, 2013


These past two weeks, I think it is obvious that I have been very unsettled.  I have been struggling with so many things and, unfortunately, I have let my anger and discontentment take over my happy-jolly self.  I will be the first to admit that I hate being so troubled and I think Cole would totally agree with that admission.

So, in the midst of my funk, God has been showing me just how blessed I am with wonderful family and friends.

For example, who would have thought that a born and bred Southern girl would be living with two Aussies in California.  Although life as a Mom to an actor can be insane, Coppelia and Freya keep me laughing all the time.  I am so thankful for their love and support and for God showing me that love can be shown by anyone.

I talked with a friend in Little Rock today who, I felt, had been wronged on so many levels.  My heart was breaking for her and I was ready to kick some butt to defend her honor.  In her usual calm, cool and collective tone she assured me that everything was fine and all would work out as it should.  She reminded me that there are more important things in life than worrying about what someone does or says about you and I should know that as well as anyone.  She's right.  I temporarily forgot that all this "stuff" is not what is important.  Thank you God for the wonderful reminder.

Yesterday, as I was waiting on news for Spencer, I received so many texts and e-mails from friends checking in to see if there was anything they could do to help.  I love these people and have no idea what I would do without them.  

Thank you God for the amazing family and friends that you have placed in my life.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation, so why should I be afraid?  The Lord protects me from danger, so why should I tremble?"
~Psalm 27:1

Monday, July 29, 2013

Good News

Like anyone else, I do love when there is good news, especially when it comes several days in a row.

This past weekend, the good news was that we had nothing but fun things planned.  On Saturday, Cole's Manager had a pool party and we got to visit, hang out with hilarious people and swim.
This pool was amazing, along with a hot tub, outdoor fireplace and outdoor kitchen.  Brad Ewing, this is exactly what I want!!!

Guess who was the first one in the pool and the last one out!  I made the mistake of thinking I was 14 again and went down this slide several times.  When I woke up Sunday morning, my back let me know that that was NOT a good idea.  Ugh, getting old is the pits!

Thankfully, on Sunday, I had made reservations with an amazing spa in town called Burke Williams.  The girls gave me a gift certificate for my birthday in March and I decided after the stressful week we had last week, it was time to get my pampering on.  And Burke Williams did not fail to deliver.  It was by far the nicest most luxurious spa I have ever visited.  The worst part of the whole trip was when the massage therapist uttered those dreadful words, "Mrs. Ewing, you have to wake up now, I have another client."  Dang it!

And the best news today is that Spencer had his check up with Dr. Warren and even though he has to stay on his IV antibiotics for another five days, he will not be admitted to ACH!  Woop woop!  Dr. Warren said it is more of a precautionary measure and that his chest x-ray looks much better.  I really wanted to scoot home this week and take care of him but, unfortunately, Brad said they are just fine.  It is really hard being a mom.
Max loves his Spencer and just wants to help with his breathing treatment.

I hope you are having a good start to your week.

"Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."
~Proverbs 22:6

Thursday, July 25, 2013

My Boys

Brad took Spencer to Dr. Warren (pulmonologist) today and an x-ray showed fluid in both of Spencer's lungs.  So, Spencer had another PIC line placed and they began IV antibiotics tonight.  There's no doubt in my mind that Brad can assume the role of Nurse Nancy Ned but it hurts my heart not to be there.  I am always there when Spencer is sick.  So frustrating.

Spencer has a follow up appointment with Dr. Warren on Monday and they will repeat the chest x-ray and based on the results, make a plan.  Depending on that plan will depend on when I return home.

In the meantime, Cole is keeping me hopping with a chemistry read for a Feature Film today, a chemistry read for a new project tomorrow, an audition for a new Helen Hunt feature film on Friday and a meeting with execs on Monday.  Glad I take vitamins.

Thank you for all your sweet e-mails and texts today.  Yes, I do know that I should not try to shoulder all of the tragedies that are happening right now.  I am trying my best.
I will keep leaning on God for wisdom and understanding and thanking Him for taking care of my family and friends.

Love this picture from this past January.

"Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord.  Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly."
~Psalm 5:3

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Prayer Overload

Do you ever feel that God is yanking tugging at your heart, constantly, in hopes of getting your attention?  For the past two weeks I have been overwhelmed with so much heartache and tragedy around us, for family and friends.  I wake every morning with dread and go to sleep at night with such a heavy heart.  Today I have decided that when I feel that sadness creeping in, I will just turn it over to God and say out loud, "I can't handle this but You can so have at it."  Just hope I am not in a crowded place when I proclaim that out loud or I may have more "help" than I wanted!

Here is what is on my heart...

Spencer is still not feeling well and is going to see Dr. Warren today at 11:00.  I am prayerful that we caught the sickness in time and that he won't need to be admitted to the hospital.

Brad was stung four times by yellow jackets on Monday when his dirt contractor was clearing a lot for a new house.  The stings on his chest swelled up to the size of a hockey puck but like any male, he has not been to the doctor.

I already mentioned my friends the Bruning's who are in Atlanta with their son JD at the Shepard Center which is a spinal cord injury hospital.  JD will be getting a trach this morning so that he can be on the ventilator but still communicate.  They are in the same circumstances we were with Spencer 14 years ago.  I can't stop praying and thinking that we should be in Atlanta to help them but I know that is not possible.  What can I do?

I found out last night that our friends, Patience and Stephen Holt, were dealt a staggering diagnosis for Stephen.  I have had them on my prayer list because Stephen has not been feeling well and has been experiencing weakness.  This past week he received the news that he has Lou Gehrig's disease and Lyme disease.  They are seeking treatment options for both while continuing to trust God in His infinite wisdom.  They have two children ages 19 and 13.

Why?  How can we help?  I have no answers, only questions.   The one thing I do know is that prayer is the answer for everything.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord.  "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  In those days when you pray, I will listen.  If you look for me in earnest you will find me when you seek me."
~Jeremiah 29:11-13

Monday, July 22, 2013

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

These past 10 days have been stressful, to say the least.

Cole got a callback for a script I HATE, a guy hit me in Santa Monica and admitted it was his fault but then recanted when my insurance company contacted him, Spencer is not feeling well and is running fever plus, he is having surgery in a couple of weeks to remove his port and I won't be there.....should I go on?

I have been so unsettled lately with Cole and I being in LA while Brad and Spencer are in Little Rock.  I seem to be letting my emotions take control instead of letting God.  Seems to be a recurring problem in my life.

During my quiet time today, God reminded me that we are so incredibly blessed by Him in our lives.  He has big plans for our family and I need to trust Him and wait.  Ugh, that four-letter word that I hate but if we don't wait on Him, we will not realize His perfect plan for us.

So, while I am praying for answers on some issues, I am thanking God for keeping Cole and I safe in our wreck, watching over Spencer and providing healing hands, and providing work for Brad as he broke ground today on a new house for a new client.

While the Ewing's are so blessed, my heart is breaking for our friend JD Bruning who was in a diving accident and has broken his neck.  He is currently in Atlanta at a specialized spinal center.  Every hour of every day, he and his family are on my mind.  We were in that same position with Spencer on two different occasions and I just can't keep the tears from flowing thinking about JD and his family.  Please keep JD and his family in your prayers.

"Trust the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths."
~Proverbs 3:5-6

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Life at the Beach

I have always been a "beach" girl.  From my very first visit to the beach when I was seven years old, courtesy of Aunt Betty, I have been in love with the ocean.  Any beach...all beaches.  Doesn't matter where in the world it is, I love them all.

Spending Saturday at the beach in Santa Monica was just what I needed and we made the most of it...we got there early and stayed late.  After a long run and some swimming, it was great to meet up with some of our friends that we haven't seen since last year.

Lawson, Paleigh and Cole.

It's amazing how the salty air, sand and sea always make me feel better.

Although this past week has been extremely emotional for me, I loved that God reminded me this morning through our Pastor to "bloom where you are planted".  It's not about where I think we should be; it's about where God wants me to be and wherever that is, He will equip me with everything I need.  I love those sermons that were written specifically for me. ;) 

Spencer had a fabulous week last week with the highlight being that he was able to meet the General Manager for the Arkansas Travelers (farm team for the Anaheim Angels) and not only meet him but sit with him at a game and spend the entire game getting to know him and the business.  I have never met Mr. Allen but anyone who receives an e-mail from Spencer and picks up the phone, calls Spencer directly and invites him to accompany him to a game, must be a great guy.  Thank you Mr. Allen for inspiring a young man to keep following his dream.

I hope you had a great weekend.

"God blesses the people who patiently endure testing.  Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him."
~James 1:12

Thursday, July 11, 2013

One of Those Days

I have had one of "those" days today.   I knew as soon as I opened my eyes this morning that my emotional well was close to over flowing and it didn't take long for the tears to appear.

My longing for Brad, Spencer, Cole and me to be together as a family has had such a hold on me lately that I really haven't been able to think of anything else.  My usual sunny disposition has been replaced by my evil twin, Miss Miserable.  I really hate my twin.

All day I have cried.  I was sitting in my car in the CVS parking lot crying the ugly cry and scared a woman so bad that she offered to call 911.  Note to self:  go home to have your breakdown.

Thankfully, I am married to the most patient man in the history of mankind.  From our first talk this morning to our last conversation tonight, he is nothing but supportive and will totally agree to anything I want need to do.

As I have gone from one emotion to another throughout the day, I have come to the surprising realization that to disentangle ourselves from our LA life is going to take time.  We are not going to be able to just pack up and leave; we have obligations and if we are going to leave, then we need to do it the right way.  For now, we will remain in LA and make strides to our ultimate goal of being together as a family throughout the coming months.

I am thankful for a day to vent, to have a pity party and to talk things through with Brad without him judging me.  I am blessed beyond measure to have him in my life.

Ever have one those days?

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight."
~Proverbs 3:5-6

Sunday, July 7, 2013

We Love Visitors

Cole and I were so excited last week when his friend, Robert, came to spend eight days with us in Los Angeles.  We don't have a lot of visitors and when we do, they are never able to stay for eight days so we made lots of plans for Robert's visit.

First on the list was extreme go-carting:
You know it is serious if they issue you a legit helmet AND a neck brace!

Then, hiking to the Hollywood sign...
My legs & butt hurt for three days after this hike but these boys were fine.

The next day found us on a Hollywood tour bus which is a MUST for all visitors...

Then we spent an entire day at Santa Monica beach where it was 73 degrees, foggy and the water was a mere 64 degrees.  Brrrrr!
They're smiling but only because their lips are frozen into this position!

The next day was spent driving around in Beverly Hills...

As usual, Hollywood Boulevard did not fail to entertain and we spent the day watching the freaks people.
Robert dared Cole to run through the fountain and, of course, a boy NEVER turns down a dare!

On Robert's last day, Cole had an audition at Disney so Robert was able to tag along and get a "behind the scenes" idea of what happens on an audition.

We had so much fun with Robert and can't wait for him to come back.

The rest of the week we spent time at the beach

enjoyed the fireworks on the 4th of July from the roof of the condo

and spent Sunday afternoon in Little Tokyo
Cole in front of the "wishing" tree.

While Cole and I have had fun in LA, we both are missing Brad and Spencer so much.  I am ready for us all to be together; my number one prayer request.  As I pray, I remember this verse every day...

"I will answer them before they even call to me.  While they are still talking to me about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!"

Oh my, how can I ask for more than this.