If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. ~Matthew 17:20

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

LA Groove

I'm going to be honest; sometimes, going from Arkansas life to LA life drives me crazy.  They are two totally different lives that I am living and although I am grateful and blessed, I sometimes feel like 007 (well, without the secrets, the multitude of men or the martinis).

Spencer and I arrived in LA yesterday afternoon at 1:30.  I am happy to report that our trip was smooth sailing with no hiccups.  Vickey and Cole met us at the airport and there was no traffic getting to the condo...can't ask for more than that.

The first thing I did before I even unpacked was clean our room.  Although Cole did an amazing job with all his responsibilities while I was gone, cleanliness is not his forte.  No problem.  I cleaned and straightened up and unpacked, all within the span of two hours.

It was so great to see everyone and get caught up on all that is going on in LA.  The weather is so warm (71 degrees today!) and everything is blooming.  Ahh, makes me wish everyone in Arkansas and my friend Valerie in Wisconsin could experience this weather.  

Today was filled with grocery shopping, getting Cole's haircut, cooking and getting caught up on e-mails.  I have a feeling tomorrow we will hit the ground running with auditions.

Have you had a crazy week?

"The Lord will fight for you and you can be still."
~Exodus 14:14

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Proudness Overload

I like to think that I am not a "stage mom" but I can certainly brag with the best of them.  I will be the first one to jump up on a table in a crowded restaurant to tell of the amazing accomplishments of my boys.  Remember, I am not a shy person.

It has been one month since we said goodbye to Cole in LA and made our trek back to Arkansas with Spencer.  Thirty days of leaving my fourteen-year-old in the hands of wonderful room mates.  Would my mom have left me when I was fourteen?  Ha!  I'm sure she has reservations even today about me being on my own.

Cole has done an amazing job of taking care of everything that needs to be done, from washing clothes and helping around the condo to studying scripts and going to coaching and auditions.  Like Spencer, Cole is very independent and capable and we are so incredibly proud of him.

On Tuesday, Spencer and I will be heading back to LA.  We are prayerful that Spencer will stay well and will be able to enjoy spending time with everyone.  We will take one day at a time.

I can't wait to hug and kiss on this sweetie.

I have been trying to get things done around the house before our departure for LA and these two Spencer has been a big help.  I love this picture I snapped yesterday as I was getting ready to smooch on both of them...looks like Max is acting like Kujo but he was just yawning!

What is life without a little adventure?  Boring!

"God blesses the people who patiently endure testing.  Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
~James 1:12

Friday, February 22, 2013


I love...

Being home in Arkansas.

Having a place to live and friends I love in LA.

Talking and laughing with my mom on the phone.

Spending time with my family.  We are all different but that's what makes our family so special.  Think how crazy boring it would be if they were all like me ;)

Sitting on my porch and hearing nothing except the animals.

Laughing with my friends.  There is nothing like a good belly-laugh to make your whole day or week.

Living in the woods and being able to go for a walk, in my pj's, with the dogs.  However, if my neighbor Jerry saw me in my flannel penguin pj's, he would probably prefer that I lived someplace else.

Praying to God and getting an answer!  That is so awesome!

Being loved by someone as special as Brad.  He is my exact opposite; he is calm, cool under pressure, thinks about things before speaking, and loves me unconditionally.  I could never ask for anything more.

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about what happens to you."
~1 Peter 5:7

Tuesday, February 19, 2013


I am guilty of many things...

Being overprotective with the boys.
Talking and laughing too loud.
Drinking too much coffee.
Sometimes drinking too much wine.
Being short tempered with bad-attitude people who work in retail.
Eating too much.
Watching too much HGTv.
Complaining to God when things don't go my way.
Wanting to adopt every stray animal, regardless of what they are.
Doing something, anything, instead of cleaning.
Not being thankful for all that we have.
Over committing myself.

Lately, I have been guilty of whining when I pray.  I am constantly reminding God that I don't know what the plan is and lest He forget, we need to get busy making one.   I have been unsettled, cranky and just no fun.

But, this morning, I felt that God was speaking directly to me through my devotional, Jesus Calling:
"You are feeling weighed down by a plethora of problems, both big and small.  They seem to require more and more of your attention, but you must not give in to those demands.  When the difficulties in your life feel as if they're closing in on you, break free by spending quality time with Me.  You need to remember who I am in all My Power and Glory.  Then, humbly bring Me your prayers and petitions.  Your problems will pale when you view them in the Light of My Presence.  You can learn to be joyful in Me, your Savior, even in the midst of adverse circumstances. "

Wow.  Needless to say, my attitude today has been one of thankfulness and gratitude with no whining whatsoever.  I will trust that everything will come together in God's time, not mine.

 "Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren, even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord!"
~Habakkuk 3:17-18

Monday, February 18, 2013

Rescheduled...The Story of Our Lives

Today was the day of revisiting my plan several times.  I think we're on Plan G, although it could be Plan H.  I'm not really sure because once we get past Plan B, my eyes start to glaze over and I begin to rethink my other plan of cutting back on my wine intake.

To recap, Spencer's vocal cord surgery that was originally scheduled for December 27th (but was cancelled due to the snow) and then was scheduled for tomorrow, February 19th, has been RESCHEDULED because Spencer has only been out of the hospital for two weeks.  The anesthesiologist didn't feel comfortable for the procedure to be performed tomorrow and it will be postponed for six weeks.  While I totally appreciate their carefulness, it sure does throw a kink in my plans.  Insert sigh here.

On a brighter note, Cole will be back in LA around 8:00 p.m. Pacific time tonight.  He called Brad and I Saturday night from a pay phone (I didn't even know those things were still around) and they had been snow boarding all afternoon and having a blast.  I'm sure he will have many stories to tell us about his trip.

No matter how many times our plans change, we know God is in control and that everything will happen according to His plan.

In the meantime, who can be upset when these two are around?
Love them so much.

"For the Lord your God has arrived to live among you.  He is a mighty savior.  He will rejoice over you with great gladness.  With his love, he will calm all your fears.  He will exult over you by singing a happy song."
~Zephaniah 3:17

Saturday, February 16, 2013


Today's blog post comes to you with only positive thoughts and happy news (sorry if I have freaked some of you out with my last couple of rants posts).

This is the weekend of rest and relaxation....for everyone except Brad.  He is turning over a custom built house next week so his crews are working non-stop to get it ready for the new owners.

But for the remainder of the Ewing's, only R & R is on the agenda.  Cole is attending a retreat this weekend with our youth group from church.  They are in the Sierra Madre mountains, five and half hours north of LA, where there is snow and no cell phone service.  It will be a great weekend for him to rest and recharge his batteries.

Spencer is feeling sooooo much better and is raring to go and do something, anything.  We can go to a movie or there is girl's roller derby or the Grossology Traveling Exhibit.  Hmmm, kind of hope he picks a movie.

I'm feeling unusually calm, cool and collected this morning.  Must be all those prayers you're sending my way.  Thank you.

"Indeed you are my shelter, a strong tower that protects me from the enemy."
~Psalm 61:3

Friday, February 15, 2013

A Rock to the Head

Hi, my name is Marilyn Ewing and I am a certified control freak.

This is the part where you state your name and state your addiction/obsession/disorder.  I can add many, many, many adjectives  behind "control freak" that would accurately describe me but for now, I'm focusing on one disorder at a time.

I have been so unsettled this week and I thought it was because Spencer was still not feeling well.  However, today I realized that my main problem is that I feel I have no control over my life, both here in Little Rock and in LA.  I am stressed because I don't have a plan for me to return to LA.  I'm stressed because Cole is trying to do everything himself, including school, coaching, auditions, etc.  I am stressed because I'm stressed.  I give up.

Oddly enough, my chiropractor told me something today that really brought my problem to reality.  He quoted a former pastor of his that said, "If you're worried, then God isn't in the right place in your life."  So true.  Instead of worrying, I should be praying.  And after I've prayed, I should let it be.  It's like I'm telling God, "I trust you but not enough to stop worrying."

Tonight, I was watching "Say Yes to the Dress" but I felt this overwhelming urge to get my devotional (which I neglected to read this morning).  In Jesus Calling for February 15th, it says, 
"Come to me with all your weaknesses:  physical, emotional, and spiritual.  Rest in the comfort of My Presence, remembering that nothing is impossible with Me."

Sometimes, it takes a rock to the head to get my attention.  So, I'm praying and letting it go.   And, then, I'm using my DVR to rewind SYTTD so I can see what a $90,000 wedding dress looks like.

Do you ever find yourself feeling this way?

"Now glory be to God!  By His mighty power at work within us, He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope."
~Ephesians 4:20

Tuesday, February 12, 2013


I might have mentioned this before but I am a very impatient person.  If I want something done, I want it done yesterday.  If you're not going to do it as quickly as I think it should be done, I would just as soon do it myself.  I don't mind doing whatever it is that needs to be done. In fact, in most cases, I would prefer to do it myself if I can get it done sooner than you ;)

That is the reason that Spencer got a picture of me trying to start the chainsaw.  My crepe myrtle needed to be pruned and I wanted it done right then.  Could I wait until Brad got home?  No, of course not.
I think Brad "fixed" it to where I would never be able to start it on my own.  Spencer said Dad was a smart man.

My impatience applies to all areas but especially to the medical issues with Spencer.  My thinking is that if you attended school for umpteen years for your specific specialty, then you should be able to tell me exactly what is wrong when I present you with a problem.  Today's problem was the fact that Spencer has been having headaches, vision problems and sensitivity to light for the past three weeks.  I have been trying to figure out a "reason" for these symptoms but came to the conclusion yesterday that it could be his VP shunt, which he has had since he was three years old.  His shunt circulates his spinal fluid through his brain and prevents it from building up. I really did think that his shunt was malfunctioning and causing his problems.

So today, after six hours at Children's, a CT scan of his brain plus x-rays of his shunt, we are being told that his symptoms are NOT a cause of a malfunctioning shunt but we don't know what is the cause.  Dr. Ojal said to wait two to three months to see if the symptoms resolve on their own and if they don't, come to see her.  Um, no.  I will give it a week or two and if he is not better then we will be back.  Ugh.  All I want are definitive answers.

The Old Wise One, a/k/a Spencer, reminded me that we don't always get definitive answers when it comes to his medical issues and to just relax and let God be in control.  It really irritates me sometimes that my 17-year-old is more wise than I am.

I want a plan for getting Spencer well.  I want a plan for either returning to LA or bringing Cole home to Arkansas.  I want a plan for world peace.  Somehow, I don't foresee any answers in my immediate future.

  "Answer my prayers, O Lord, for your unfailing love is wonderful.  Turn and take care of me, for your mercy is so plentiful."
~Psalm 70:16

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Catching Up

These past 14 days at home with Spencer (even though 8 of them were spent in the hospital) have been wonderful.  We are catching up on much-needed time together.  I am forcing encouraging him to watch shows that he doesn't usually watch (House Hunters, House Hunters International, Say Yes to the Dress) and he is holding the remote hostage when there is a basketball game or Swamp People show on...yep, feels like things are back to normal.   But not completely normal since Cole is still in LA.  I know he is having a great time but I sure do miss him.  I am so incredibly grateful to Coppelia, Vickey and the Shea's for taking Cole to all of his auditions, classes, the bank, shopping and anywhere else he needs to go.  How will I ever repay them?

Spencer is slowly regaining his strength.  We ran errands today and were gone for about two hours after which he was extremely tired.  I think an excursion to church tomorrow will be the extent of his activity.

Spencer is scheduled to have surgery February 19th to build up his vocal cords and I am hoping to stay in Little Rock until he recovers.  We'll see.

My brother is kitty sitting for a friend and I just had to share Mischa's picture...

Isn't she beautiful!  She is such a sweet baby and she may be looking for a new home.  Unfortunately, the Ewing's will not be able to take her but if you know of someone, let me know.

Hope you have all had a great week.

"The grass withers, and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever."
~Isaiah 40:8

Monday, February 4, 2013

Day #8 - Home from the Hospital!

Sunday morning in the hospital is like any other morning while in the hospital.  A resident comes in early and talks loud, a tech comes in to check vitals and I have to keep from screaming and throwing the covers over my head.  I resist the temptation and get up, fold up my bed and stumble to the shower and ready myself for another day of hospital life.

Yesterday began the same way with one exception; while I was down getting coffee cup #2, Dr. Bauer was telling Spencer that he was being discharged.  Wha what?!  Dr. Bauer had ordered a chest x-ray and it looked so good that he discontinued the IV antibiotics and said there was no need to keep Spencer because the x-ray showed Spencer's left lung fully inflated.  WOOHOO!  I hugged Dr. Bauer (he's definitely not a hugger) and started packing!

It's the first time in 14 years that we have ever been discharged a day early and never that quickly.  Fortunately, I keep all of our stuff packed so 10 minutes later, we were ready to roll.

We pulled into our driveway at 1:30 and as you can imagine, the dogs went c-r-a-z-y!  They were so happy to have Spencer home.

I unpacked while Spencer rested so we could get ready for the Super Bowl.  Spencer's friend, Seth, surprised him by coming over and bringing three of Spencer's friends!  Thank goodness for Domino's and Brad!

The boys had a blast (nerf gun wars, ping pong and Connect Four at halftime and during the blackout) and Spencer had a huge smile on his face all night.
Jake, Bradley, Seth, Spencer, Dylan and Noah.  Love these boys and can't believe how much they have grown up!

Love it!

After the guys left and I did Spencer's breathing treatment, I fell in bed at 10:45 and slept until 9:00 this morning!  Thank goodness for coffee, coffee and more coffee.

Cole has a HUGE audition this afternoon so please send your thoughts and prayers his way!  We just never know what God has in store for us.

"Answer my prayers, O Lord, for your unfailing love is wonderful.  Turn and take care of me, for your mercy is so plentiful."
~Psalm 70:16

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Day #7 - FREEDOM!

Spencer was finally released from isolation today and was able to leave his hospital room for the first time in seven days.  Oh my goodness, I absolutely LOVED the smile on his face!  We walked to the gift shop (no wheelchair for this guy) and went outside to soak up some sunshine.  Holy smokes, it felt good to be out with him.
He still has to wear a mask when he's out, but he doesn't care.

He had visitors, he went walking several times and he won at Connect Four more times than I can count.  Definitely a good day.

I started off the day by accidentally pulling the "Emergency" cord in the bathroom, when my towel caught on it, and I am happy to report that the response time for the nurses is five seconds or less!  

Spencer is looking forward to the Super Bowl tomorrow and I am looking forward to busting out of this joint on Monday or Tuesday.  I am so surprised but so thankful how quick Spencer has recovered this time.  I was amazed at the strength he had to walk around today.  I guess he has been building up his stamina and his immune system these past 15 months of being well.

Did you have a good day?

"Indeed, you are my shelter, a strong tower that protects me from the enemy."
~Psalm 61:3

Friday, February 1, 2013

Day #5 & #6: Crazy Has Set In

If you have ever seen a picture of Grumpy Cat, then you know exactly what Spencer has looked like these past two days...

Yep, that's it.

Being sequestered in the hospital room is driving Spencer insane.  This hospital stay has been different from our previous ones in that he has recovered so much quicker and, therefore, is ready to go do something, anything.

Spencer's chest x-ray yesterday showed no fluid present (yeah!) but his lower left lobe is still deflated.  Respiratory therapy is being very aggressive with their breathing treatments so that when the chest x-ray is repeated on Monday, it will look well enough for Spencer to go home!  We are so ready.

Cole has been busy, busy, busy with auditions and school in California.  He has some amazing opportunities coming up and we are hopeful that everything will come to fruition.  I will keep you posted.

I was trying to find something in the play room today to cheer Spencer up when I spotted Princess Barbie.  Oh, how I loved my Malibu Barbie when I was growing up but Spencer was NOT impressed.
It took about five seconds before he threw a ball at her and knocked her off the computer.  Boys definitely do not embrace getting in touch with their feminine side!

I am so incredibly tired.  Every time someone comes in the room in the middle of the night, I wake up and missing my R.E.M. sleep has sucked the life right out of me.  My hospital stamina has diminished over these past 15 months of being hospital-free.

Praying for a good night tonight and a trip home next week.

"But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you."
~2 Thessalonians 3:3