Hi, my name is Marilyn Ewing and I am a certified control freak.
This is the part where you state your name and state your addiction/obsession/disorder. I can add many, many, many adjectives behind "control freak" that would accurately describe me but for now, I'm focusing on one disorder at a time.
I have been so unsettled this week and I thought it was because Spencer was still not feeling well. However, today I realized that my main problem is that I feel I have no control over my life, both here in Little Rock and in LA. I am stressed because I don't have a plan for me to return to LA. I'm stressed because Cole is trying to do everything himself, including school, coaching, auditions, etc. I am stressed because I'm stressed. I give up.
Oddly enough, my chiropractor told me something today that really brought my problem to reality. He quoted a former pastor of his that said, "If you're worried, then God isn't in the right place in your life." So true. Instead of worrying, I should be praying. And after I've prayed, I should let it be. It's like I'm telling God, "I trust you but not enough to stop worrying."
Tonight, I was watching "Say Yes to the Dress" but I felt this overwhelming urge to get my devotional (which I neglected to read this morning). In Jesus Calling for February 15th, it says,
"Come to me with all your weaknesses: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Rest in the comfort of My Presence, remembering that nothing is impossible with Me."
Sometimes, it takes a rock to the head to get my attention. So, I'm praying and letting it go. And, then, I'm using my DVR to rewind SYTTD so I can see what a $90,000 wedding dress looks like.
Do you ever find yourself feeling this way?
"Now glory be to God! By His mighty power at work within us, He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope."