I have something to confess. For the past three weeks I have been extremely angry with God. Not a little upset or mad because something didn't go my way but full on, nerve-wracking, sobbing uncontrollably, sick-to-my-stomach anger that boils up from my insides and spills over in every conversation that I am having with Him.
It has been four years since Spencer was able to eat by mouth. That's one thousand, four hundred and sixty+ days of having to use his feeding tube to survive.
On Friday, December 14th, Spencer will have a Swallow Study to see if there is any change in his ability to swallow any type of food at all....solid, liquid and textures in between. He doesn't think the outcome will be any different from the ones over the past four years. But I have to try and believe that God can and will perform a miracle.
And so I have prayed. And I have pleaded. And I have begged and then begged some more. And now I am asking my Prayer Warriors to join with me in praying for a positive outcome to this test.
As my friend Tracy reminds me, we have to believe that no matter the outcome, that God receives the glory for every situation. And so I have to believe that God can move mountains and that He will, in His time, make it possible for Spencer to eat again by mouth. In the meantime, I pray that I am as faithful as Spencer.
If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you."
~Matthew 17:20
If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you."
~Matthew 17:20
No comments:
Post a Comment