If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. ~Matthew 17:20

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Push Me/Pull Me Syndrome

When I was little, my mom used to read the Dr. Doolittle books to me and the good Doctor had a llama called "push me pull you" that had a head at both ends of its body. 
Mom used that phrase to encourage my brother and I to make good choices.

For some reason, I dreamed about this phrase the other night but in my dream, it was "push me pull me" which is my mind's way of acknowledging how I feel at this point in my life.

Life has a way of pulling us in so many different directions with an abundance of priorities.  Work schedule, husband's schedule, children's schedules, family, friends, church, outside commitments...the list is endless.

If I could split myself in half, in my mind my life would be easier.  One half would be in Arkansas, helping Brad with his business, working with Spencer on fine-tuning his college search and spending time with friends and family.  My other half would be in California helping Cole with his acting career and all that goes along with it, while spending time with friends.  Somehow, I think with this scenario I would double my problems instead of making life simpler.  :)

My desire to help everyone reach their goals has made us realize that the most important aspect of this adventure is that we work together; together for the same goal and together, as in the same house.  Although we have chosen this path willingly, two years is a long time for our family to be apart and our goal this spring is to decide which path our family will follow.  Will we pack up our belongings in California and come back to Arkansas to live and let Cole return to LA after graduation?  Or, will we pack up our house in Arkansas and move the family to California?  With each situation, difficult decisions and sacrifices will be made.  These decisions will not be made lightly or without much prayer.

I wish I knew the answer.  I am sure all will be revealed to us in God's time and so, we trust each day that we are doing His will.

If I had known adulthood and parenthood would be so stressful, would I have chosen instead to spend my life on the beach in Bora Bora and sell seashells for a living?
Hmmm, I'll get back to you on that!

"Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
~Hebrews 11:1

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