Unanswered Prayers

I am a firm believer in continuous and heartfelt prayer.  I have seen first-hand how a room full of powerful prayer warriors can bring the sickest child at ACH back from the brink of death.  I have been blessed to witness so many of God's blessings, not only for my family but for so many of my friends.

But I must confess that I have the hardest time accepting when God does not answer my prayers.  I act like a five-year-old in Target who has just been told "No!" to their request for candy/toy/game/slushy and proceeds to throw a tantrum that registers on the Richter scale.  Let's just say it is not pretty.

Today was one of those days.  I ranted, raved, cried, whined, complained, got very angry, cried more and finally pleaded with God to answer just one prayer.  Only one.  I did not ask for a baby kitty to be dropped into my lap from the sky or for me to win the lottery.  I only ask for one thing which I have been requesting for the past three years.  I just want Spencer to be able to eat by mouth.

Spencer called me today and was so frustrated with his pump because it clogged and spilled.  I can take just about anything but I CAN NOT handle when he is upset and telling me he can't do this anymore.  My frustration with God goes from nonexistent to 1,000 percent in less than one second.  Do I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God works everything for the good of His children?  Yes.  Do I realize that God has a reason for everything He does?  Of course.  Does it make it any easier to wait and watch and wonder when my child will have one more burden lifted from his shoulders?  Absolutely not.

I am mad and frustrated but most of all I am so incredibly sad.  As I was looking through my devotional tonight, this was what I opened the book to..."Trust Me, and don't be afraid.  I want you to view trials as exercises designed to develop your trust-muscles.  You live in the midst of fierce spiritual battles, and fear is one of Satan's favorite weapons...".  I am so blessed to be truly loved unconditionally by a God that allows and even understands my frustration and weakness.

"Each time he said, "My grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness."  So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

2 Corinthians 12:9