Choices

I have never been someone who has a gift for making choices.  I hate to have to weigh pros and cons to choose between this or that.  If I like both, I choose both.  If a pair of shoes looks good in black then you know you should also buy it in gold.  Easy.  No choice to make.

When Spencer first told me that he was choosing to stay home instead of accompanying Cole and I to LA, I wanted for him to do as I would have done...choose to do both.  Spend time in LA during the "peak" months for acting and then come home with us for the holidays. 

But as Spencer reminded me, acting is not his career choice.  His logical take on the whole situation completely blew me away and, of course, made me cry (when do I not cry?).

Spencer:  "Mom, y'all are in LA for Cole's career and now it is time for me to focus on my career.  I am going to be in 10th grade and I cannot go into college knowing next to nothing about coaching."

Me:  "Um hmm."

Spencer:  "So, I am going to stay here when you go back to LA and in addition to getting a job, I am also going to be the student assistant to Coach Helm (football coach) and Coach Hogue (basketball coach).  I have set up a meeting with both of them."

Me:  "Uh huh."

Spencer:  "This will be a chance for me to learn to live on my own since Dad will be gone all day and for me to learn to do more things independently."

Me:  "Why do you have to be so logical?"

Spencer:  just smiles.

I am so glad Spencer and I had this conversation three weeks ago because it has taken every second of these past 21 days for me to come to grips with leaving him here.  For the past 13 years, I have had to be there to do almost everything for him.  Almost from the beginning of the diagnosis of his brain tumor, his disabilities far outweighed his ability to do many things children his age could do.  But, that's not the case any more.  God has blessed him so abundantly that before me now stands a handsome sixteen-year-old who is comfortable in his own skin and eager to start a new adventure.

I am not sure if it was Brad who suggested it (probably subliminally while I was sleeping) but this is a great time for Spencer to gradually gain independence and also a great time for me to spend one on one time with Cole and for us to participate in activities that we haven't done.  Cole and I do not go to amusement parks, restaurants, etc. because Cole didn't want to leave Spencer at home alone all day while we went out and had fun.  Have I mentioned that I have two amazing children?!

Cole is excited about heading back to LA.  Spencer is excited because he starts his new job tomorrow (more on that later).  I am excited because I am blessed to witness two young men becoming wonderful adults.  I guess choices aren't always bad.

But I still can't choose between shoes.

I had to buy the strappy heels AND the comfy flip flops.  It's a hard life I live!

"A time to cry and a time to laugh, a time to grieve and a time to dance."

~Ecclesiastes 3:4